Dreams on a Stormy Night
by napafey
Summary: Both Kenshin & Kaoru have been denying what they want for far too long. What happens when the one finds the other in his room one stormy night. With a beguiling woman tempting him at every turn how much longer can the runrouni deny what he truly wants?
1. Chapter 1

This was a conglomeration of a couple of fics I wrote for Rurouni Kenshin. And while it wasn't my first attempt, it was the first story I seriously put some time in. See, I hated the way the anime ended and at the time I hadn't read the manga. Although at this time I have and I don't care for the way the storyline ends there either. There is no payoff for Kenshin and Kaoru. We don't even get a kiss! So, I decided to rectify that and write my own ending. That being said, this is a Kenshin and Kaoru fic. It focuses on them and they will be together by the end. So don't fret! On that note, I'll let you go. Enjoy!

To add, for those who might have know, this story is published elsewhere under a different name. I wanted to publish it here again because this is where it started. But, as it storms outside where I sit, I want to retell this tale, as I enjoyed it so when I wrote it years ago.

And I don't own Rurouni Kenshin either. Just to let you know.

* * * * * * * *

The day had been long and hot. Summer had definitely arrived. Dinner had been a relatively quiet affair. Sanosuke had disappeared at some point and Kenshin was not one to ponder the man's whereabouts. He assumed his friend had visited Megumi. Her attentions lately had focused more on the tall mad and Kenshin was happy the two might finally resolve their tensions. She had recently stopped referring to him as 'my' Ken-san, though the nickname remained. He wondered if she used it more to taunt Kaoru, but he couldn't fully understand that logic.

Shortly after the meal, Yahiko had vanished into his own room while Kaoru sat on the porch steps watching the sky. Clouds had rolled in and he didn't doubt a storm would break before dawn. The woman had retired, giving him a small smile before disappearing behind her own door. Now he sat in his room, his violet eyes still open as he pondered his place.

It was nearly a year since he has first wandered into the woman's life. She had stopped him on the street, demanding a fight. Instead she had received a freeloader. But he couldn't bring himself to leave. He had tried once. It had nearly broken his heart to walk away from her during the short reign of Shishio. Instead of keeping her safe she had followed him to Kyoto.

Now he was willing to admit that leaving would not protect her. However, remaining would not either. Too vivid was the memory of him discovering her gone, taken by Enishi. The incident had forced him to recognize his true feelings for Kamiya Kaoru. He loved her. And nothing he did could ever erase that fact. So he stayed, protecting her, knowing that if he left she would follow. Even though she was still a danger if he remained, he knew he could prevent something terrible from happening if he was near than if he had been somewhere else. Life would have been so much simpler if he had never encountered her that day on the street.

Kenshin sighed and looked up at the flash of lightning that lit the room. The storm he had predicted was on its way. His love for her was what really kept him close. He couldn't bear to be away from her. However, he could not be with her either. She deserved better. But keeping her from his other self was so difficult sometimes.

Battousai craved her in a way that made resist nearly futile. The woman appealed to both halves. Her sincerity and grace drew the rurouni out of him. It was why he had initially stayed. But her strength and unyielding courage inflamed the passion that was the hitokiri. Only Kaoru could appeal to both his good and his bad side. Tomoe had never been able to stand up to the manslayer within his heart. Kaoru was also the only one who had ever managed to break through the façade that would inevitably be his downfall.

He wasn't even sure how she felt about him. There were times when he would catch her watching him speculatively. However, she had never made any open invitations. There were incidences that led him to wonder if she felt more than friendship. Vividly he recalled her reaction the time he had mistakenly proposed to her.

Color touched his cheeks at the embarrassing memory of what Tae had instigated. Not that he wouldn't hesitate in marrying Kaoru, but again, she deserved so much more than he had to offer. Another had happened one night when they had been stranded overnight with an elderly couple. During the night, she had awoken and taken his hand in hers. He had been aware and had often pondered the meaning of that. But since then, she had made no overtures as to where her feelings stood.

Thunder rumbled followed by another flash of lightning. Through the silent dojo, a soft cry was heard. Alert, Kenshin was on his feet. Grabbing his sakabatou he dashed down the hall. He paused outside of Kaoru's room. He strained to hear if someone was within, ready to pounce if anyone dared to touch the woman. Another soft cry reached him and he shoved the door open without hesitation as the blue light lit the room.

The woman lay sprawled on her futon, the sheets twisted around her legs. Her eyelashes fluttered violently, her bottom lip trembling. Kenshin let his breath out slowly. A part of him was relieved to know it had only been another nightmare. He stood there, watching her sleep as he had on countless nights. Nightmares plagued her most nights than not. Always he had awoken at her cry, hurrying to make sure she was safe. He dreaded to find her gone again. But she was here.

Kenshin leaned against the wall and slowly slid to the floor. Her face grimaced and she moaned again. His heart ached to be unable to help the woman he loved. Her dreams were the only place he could not reach. He briefly wondered what her nightmare was about, what he might do to alleviate her fear.

Thunder rumbled again, closer this time. It was warm. He felt his lids begin to droop. The heat was getting to him, along with the innumerable sleepless nights he had spent watching over her. It gave him a brief peace of mind to know she was safe. If anything entered the room, he would know it. Kenshin knew the woman was safe as long as he was close. He would never allow anyone to harm her again. With that thought, his eyes closed and he drifted into sleep.

* * * * * *

Something rumbled and Kaoru shook her head, trying to shake the dream. She saw something flash against the back of her eyelids and slowly she opened her eyes. Her room was dark and humid. The sheet had become tangled in her legs. Whatever she had been dreaming about she could not recall. Slowly she sat up as thunder boomed again. It sounded like quite a storm. She untangled her sheet from her legs and flung it out. Gently it settled down over her legs and she sighed. Stretching her arms above her head, her blue eyes caught sight of a dark figure against the wall.

She sucked in her breath and blinked as lightning lit the room once more. She blinked again recognizing the man sitting there. She gently crawled from her sleeping place. There was no mistake. Kenshin sat there against the wall, his head bowed, his chest rising deep and even. She sat back on her heels studying him. Why was he here in her room? She glanced to his side and saw his sakabatou resting there. The house was the one place he didn't consistently carry his weapon and she wondered now why he would bring it to her room in the middle of the night.

Kaoru had been having a nightmare and must have cried out. He heard her and came running. It was the only explanation she could ascertain that made sense. Her heart warmed at the idea of him hurrying to her aide, even though it was an evil he could not fight. She sighed again and another thought came to her as thunder rumbled yet again.

She had endured many nights plagued with horrible dreams. Some consisted of him not returning from his final showdown with Shishio. Sometimes she dreamed of her time with Enishi; others of him not returning and leaving her to her fate at the hands of Jin'eh or Gohei. However, mostly she dreamed of him leaving and never coming back.

Now Kenshin sat in her darkened room, lightning flashing around her. She studied him as she had studied him before when he slept. Somehow this time was different. Maybe it was the way his shoulders sagged, his deep red hair falling over his face. He breathing was deep and even, a soft snoring mingling with the rumbling storm outside. She smiled to herself to know the rurouni did in fact snore. Then it struck her.

He really slept. Normally he appeared slightly tense, even in sleep though his breathing was even. Usually it was after she had awoken from a nightmare, usually him abandoning her and she would rush to his room to make sure he remained. For long minutes she would stand in his doorway watching him, assuring herself he was not an illusion. Now she wondered if his trip to her room had not been the first. How often had he stolen to her room, his weapon at his side to aide her if she needed it?

Her breath caught and she took a shaky breath and lightning once more lit up the room. Thunder sounded again, louder and closer. She bit her lip and crept toward him, not wanting to miss this opportunity, whatever it may be. Carefully she watched him as his lids fluttered softly. Kaoru wondered what plagued his dreams. Did he still have dreams of the revolution, now nearly twelve years past? Bad memories of his battle with Shishio or Enishi? Did he still dream of Tomoe? She cringed to think he still thought of his first love. His lips parted gently and her eyes widened when he murmured her name.

Did he possibly dream of her?

Not wanting to believe it she held her breath. Tentatively she reached out and touched a long strand of auburn hair that fell across his shadowed face. She brushed it away from his cheek, her fingers skimming his temple. Still he did not move and she felt bolder. Tenderly she caressed his skin, her fingers tracing over the cross-shaped scar on his left cheek.

Thunder sounded and the man jerked beneath her fingertips. A hand seized her wrist and Kaoru gasped as she found herself staring into the startled violet eyes tinged with golden flecks. She had seen that look before, thought not often. It usually elicited the rise of Battousai to the surface. Fear gripped her as she stared into the man's eyes.

His gaze softened as his fingers moved up her wrist to grasp her hand. Her chest heaved as his other hand gingerly came up to her face. His fingertips hovered just over her skin. Kenshin's gaze strayed towards her cheek and his fingers turned to caress her flesh with his knuckles.

Kaoru's eyes closed at the tender caress, her breath catching. His knuckles paused at the corner of her mouth and his thumb moved to lightly trace over her bottom lip. She moaned softly in the dark room. His hand stretched, cupping her face in his palm. In a daze she forced her eyes open to see him.

In the lightning flash that illuminated the room, she saw his gaze studying her mouth. Her eyes widened slightly. Was he going to kiss her? Thunder reverberated through the room causing the walls to rattle. Abruptly the moment was broken and he pulled away.

"Wha-?" She groaned, reaching for him. He rose swiftly before she could grasp him. Confusion and pain soared through her. Why was he turning away now?

The answer came to her slowly as she heard feet pounding down the hallway. The door was tossed open and Yahiko stood there. "Wake up busu! It's a tremendous storm!" He cried gleefully. He tore back the way he came, waiting for her to give chase.

Normally, she might have, knowing he would have awoken her if the storm hadn't yet. Yet her gaze was still fixed on Kenshin.

"We should make sure everything is secure, that we should." He told her huskily in the dark.

Reluctantly she nodded and rose. He stared at her one last moment. "Kenshin!" The young boy called out. "You're missing the show!"

Without another word, the redhead turned and strode away.

* * * * * *

Sticky. That was the only way to describe it. The day was almost as humid as the day before. Rain had not come and the humidity that ensued had quickly raised the temperature. Sanosuke glanced at the sky and wondered if there would be another storm tonight. They might not be so lucky again. Distantly he heard Kaoru yelling at Yahiko about something. The woman had seemed in a bad mood today, her temper on edge often lately. Absently he rubbed his head. The bump she had given him two weeks ago had finally gone down. He wondered what could be driving her frustration. He ran a hand through his short brown hair and his gaze strayed to Kenshin.

The rurouni was doing laundry, as always. Sano marveled at how three people could constantly have clothes to wash. He rarely washed his white gi and pants, maybe only once a week. Then again, maybe if he did keep cleaner the kitsune would spend more time with him. He sighed and flopped down on the ground next to his friend. "What do you think Jou-chan's deal is today?" He asked.

Focused on his work, Kenshin didn't answer. Sano studied him and noticed the far off look in the man's violet eyes. He snapped his fingers in front of the man's face. "Oro?"

"Jou-chan? Why is she so violent today?"

"She didn't get much sleep last night, that she did not." The man answered in typical Kenshin fashion.

Sano raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Wild night last night?" The man colored slightly and Sano sat up a little straighter. That was not typical Kenshin. "Was it a wild night last night?" He asked, more serious than he had initially asked.

The gaze flicked in his direction before Kenshin rose to hang the material in his hands. "She had a nightmare before the storm awakened her, I imagine."

"And how would you know she had a nightmare?"

The redhead paused before turning around. He didn't meet Sanosuke's eyes as he knelt back down, reaching for a sheet. "She has had them before." He answered softly.

"And how do you know this?" He pressed. There was an element to this story he was missing. Somehow the rurouni knew of Kaoru's dreams; knew that one had afflicted her the previous night. Sanosuke knew what the young woman feared more than anything, the idea of being alone. More importantly, she feared life without Kenshin. His friend was a different situation. As well as he knew the man, he had no clue of the inner working of Kenshin's mind. He knew the rurouni cared for the woman, even suspected he loved Kaoru. How deep his feeling went, Sano could not even fathom. "Did something happen last night?"

Kenshin's actions paused and a definite shade of red tinged his cheeks. "No." He retorted.

"But you wanted it to." Now his face flamed and he lowered his head. "What happened?" Sano demanded softly.

The man squirmed underneath his focused inquiries. It hit Sanosuke then that the man was nervous. Now his attention and curiosity were really struck. Kenshin rarely if ever got nervous. The man had fought during the revolution, had helped bring a new era to birth. He had faced enemies so powerful, that Sano himself could not imagine living through those battles if he had not witnessed them first hand. And now the redhead was anxious because of a woman. Not just any woman, but Kaoru.

"I heard her cry out." He admitted, lowering his eyes. He began to scrub the linen in his hands again. "I went to her room to make sure everything was safe." Kenshin replied absently, trying to make the action seem insignificant.

He knew better though. Many had not given him credit for being bright, and though sometimes he was slow on the uptake, Sanosuke was not as ignorant as those around him seemed to think. "And?"

"And………I must have fallen asleep."

"In her room?" The man didn't answer. Instead he rose once more, draping the sheet over the clothesline. Once more he heard Yahiko and Kaoru carrying on, closer this time. "You're killing me Kenshin? Did you kiss her or not?" He saw the back of the red head shake in the negative. "But you wanted to, right?"

The back of the purple gi was rigid. Sano watched intently, knowing that the slightest nuance would give him the answer he sought. After a moment, the shoulders sagged. "Hai." Was the whispered response.

"Why didn't you?"

"Yahiko interrupted us. Besides, I don't deserve her."

Sano groaned in frustration and rubbed wearily at his dark brown eyes. He had heard this argument before. Many times he had pleaded the woman's case to Kenshin, and always the rurouni had claimed to be unworthy. However, before Kenshin had never admitted to his attraction to the dark haired woman. This afternoon, however, something had changed. "You say Yahiko interrupted?"

"Hai."

"Jou-chan woke up while you were there in her room then?"

He smiled as he saw the shoulders tense ever so slightly. Jackpot! "She did." He returned slowly.

Impatiently, he leapt up and spun the man around. "Did you tell her or not?"

"Ano—"

Right then. Yahiko came tearing around the corner of the dojo, Kaoru fast on his heels. The boy came dashing up and quickly glanced between the two of him. Then his eyes settled on the tub of water and quickly he hoisted it on his shoulders. He whirled. "Here busu!" He cried. "You need to cool down!" He shouted as Kaoru skidded to a halt. Before she could react, the boy had tossed the entire contents of the tub onto her.

Surprised, Sano let go of his friend and stared at her. The wet material of her gi clung to her, her pale skin giving the white garment a pink tinge. Her breasts were bound, so there was nothing fully explicit in her appearance. However, the dark hakama clung to her well-toned calves, her slim waist easily displayed. Her dark hair hung limply in her blue eyes. She appeared strangely sensual, water dripping from her. If he hadn't been nuts about Megumi, he might have fallen for her on the spot.

Kaoru stood there in her shock, her azure eyes wide and unseeing. Yahiko grinned gleefully and then dropped the bucket. He went running off, leaving the two men staring at the woman. She blinked slowly and closed her mouth. Her gaze darted between the two of them and then she turned on her heel and ran for the dojo. Sano glanced at Kenshin and a small smile touched the corners of his mouth.

The redhead stared after her, something akin to lust evident on his face. He elbowed him and grinned slyly. "She looked quite delectable, wouldn't you say?"

Golden eyes flashed in his direction and Sano took a step back. "I'd be careful what you say." He growled.

Sanosuke blinked as the man turned the tub right side up and went about filling it again with clean water. Had he struck a nerve? What on earth had threatened to bring Battousai to the surface? And then he knew. Kenshin's feeling towards Kaoru might be slightly muddled, but Battousai's were clear. While the rurouni was protective, the hitokiri was possessive. He had come to the surface at the idea of Sano going after her.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Kaoru storm towards the bathhouse. He grinned devilishly, knowing Kenshin had not spotted her. What would happen? He knew Kaoru's intentions, though he knew indirectly through Megumi. They were obvious to everyone but the redhead. The worse that could happen was Kenshin would end up with another bump on the head. But if he succeeded………maybe the two would finally resolve the sexual tension between the two of them.

"Oi, Kenshin! Did you remember to gather the towels in the bathhouse?"

"Hai." He answered, adding soap to the water.

Damnit! "Are you sure?"

The violet eyes looked up and blinked as doubt crept over the shorter man's face. "I should check, just to make sure."

He turned and strode towards the bathhouse where moments before Kaoru had entered. Sanosuke rubbed his fingers together and slowly followed. He wanted to hear the fireworks he had created.

* * * * * * * * *

Kenshin paused as he pushed open the door to the bathhouse. A sense of de ja vu swept over him. He vividly recalled having done this already today. In fact, Sanosuke had been with him, ranting on about Megumi. Why would the man want him to come in here? He shrugged. He might as well double check and make sure he had gotten all the towels.

He found one he had obviously missed. It was still damp and he frowned. Kaoru's scent lingered on the fabric and he closed his eyes. He thought back on the previous night. Her touch had awoken him, so light and tender on the marred skin of his left cheek. The jolt had caused him to jump, Battousai stirring ever so close to the surface. She had been so near, her smell intoxicating him. Like a drugged man, he had touched her, desperately wanting to feel her soft skin underneath his fingertips, and yet fearful to find he still slept.

Her groan had been real, her reaction electric. He had wanted to kiss her, possess her, the passion of the storm raging outside magnifying his need for her. And then he had sensed the boy, coming closer and he had felt his senses reluctantly return. With his last ounce of willpower he had walked away from her. He did not warrant her love, and within him the hitokiri raged selfishly.

A sound from the inner room broke his reverie. He cocked his head to the side listening. Silence greeted him and he approached the door cautiously. Yahiko had run off and Kaoru had disappeared into the house after being doused. He felt his darker side growl at the memory of Sano's appraisal of the woman. If anyone had a right to gape at her, it was he and he alone. Then he recalled she did not belong to him. His teeth gritted to think any other man might ever have the privilege of touching her, tasting her lips. He had not done it, but that gave no other male the right to lay a hand on her.

Kenshin shook his head. Arguing with himself would get him nowhere. He would protect her at all costs, that was all he could do. He did not know her feelings for him. How could she possibly love him when his hands were stained so thoroughly? Firming his resolve, he pushed the door open to the inner room and froze.

******

What do you think? Please let me know! Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

I'm re-posting this chapter to clear a few things up. This story used to be here on the website. Before people get all riled up, you can find the conclusion to the story on Media Miner under the name of Kiesmoon. That is also me. I had no intention of misleading anyone, I promise! However that name was canceled here and I can no longer publish here under that particular name. I apologize for any confusion and I appreciate the e-mails I received alerting me to the fact.

I'm so sorry for what I did last chapter. I hope this next one will appease you. Just in case there was in any doubt, I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, even though I love and want him for my very own. Alas, it was not meant to be. He belongs to Nabuhiro Watsuki. Anyway, much love and affection to those who reviewed.

* * * * * * *

Kenshin pushed the door open to inner room of the bathhouse slowly. His violet eyes searched the steamy contents of the room and he froze upon seeing his discovery.

Water splashed softly over the sides of the tub as Kaoru settled into the warm water. Her eyes were closed, her mind elsewhere. She made no move in his direction. He swallowed quietly, unsure of what to do. He didn't want to move, for fear she would notice him. However, if he didn't leave, she could turn and spot him.

He watched her silently, weighing the choices in his mind. He could leave, and possibly the woman would never know he had stumbled upon her. But he loathed moving, wishing he could get a closer look, knowing it might be his only chance. He blinked and shook his head slightly, not sure where the forbidden thought had come from. He was no hentai. Gingerly he turned, trying to escape the way he had come. Desperately he tried to apply his stealth skills. However the beating of his heart was so loud. He couldn't recall the last time he had been so nervous. When he heard his name he stopped and glanced once more at the woman.

Her black hair spilled like a waterfall over the side of the tub. Her eyes were closed, her dark eyelashes resting on her pale cheeks. A small smile rested on her lush lips as she murmured "Kenshin." Once more into the steam filled air.

Of their own accord, his feet slowly crossed the room. Mesmerized he studied her, his head cocked to the side, watching for the slightest reaction from her. If she saw him, he was dead, or at least he would gain another black eye from her. A slight grin touched his mouth to think she had been the only person he had allowed to strike him without repercussions.

She moaned softly, her head falling back gently on the back of the tub. He halted once more, unsure of how to proceed. Ever so leisurely, her eyelids opened. His own eyes were wide, his feet frozen in place. Her blue eyes stared at the ceiling and after a moment they closed again. Her smiled deepened. "I wondered when you'd come." She whispered.

"Oro?" Her words threw him off and he straightened. "Kaoru-dono……"

"Shhh. There is no need to explain." She murmured. She rolled slightly to her side, towards him, her lashes still resting on her cheeks. One hand rose from the water languidly reaching for him. It occurred to him that she thought she dreamed. He swallowed thickly, debating on whether to correct her misconception. But another part, the side that was tired of fighting his attraction to her, kept him still, curious to see where this drama might lead. "Come to me." She pleaded.

Kenshin felt compelled to obey, her low voice musical in her demand. He crossed the final steps to her and lowered himself to his knees. Her cheek rested on the side of the tub and he gingerly touched a strand of her hair. It was silk against his rough fingers and he grimaced slightly. Fearful of shattering her dream, he brushed her temple, just skimming over the surface of her skin. She inhaled shakily, her shoulders heaving ever so slightly.

He recalled she had been in a similar state the night before when he had caressed her face. As he had done then, he touched her cheek, relishing the fact it was perfect and not marked, as he had often dreaded it might be. He felt his own breath catch to feel the smoothness of her flesh. How many nights had he awakened and hurried to her side to prove she still breathed, still remained safe.

Kaoru opened her eyes slowly. She lifted her head from the tub, leaning into his caress. She turned her lips into his palm and delicately pressed a kiss there. Her lids dropped close and he moaned softly, relishing the feel of her soft lips against his calloused hand. Her mouth stopped and her lashes raised slowly, her blue eyes wide. Kenshin sucked in his breath, knowing she realized the dream had ended and reality had begun.

His fingers fell from her face as her head rose; her azure eyes stared into his violet ones. Anxiously she licked her lips and his gaze was instantly drawn to them. Quickly he looked once more into her eyes. Kenshin knew he was in trouble, finding himself in a much more precarious situation than the night before. "Kaoru-dono……" He breathed.

The woman's eyes searched his face and then settled on his mouth. He could feel her luring him to her, her aroma drawing him in, the heat in the small space affecting his mind. Or was it merely her heat? He could resist her no more and he leaned in, hesitating when his lips hovered over hers. Her nose brushed against his, the ends rubbing affectionately. He could sense her smile, his lids having drooped closed. Her breath grazed his mouth and he swallowed again. Finally he could stand it no more and he let go, his inner being cheering as he at last succumbed to his wants.

The feel of her lips against his was heaven. Never had he imagined this moment would come and now that it had, he could not fathom how it made him feel. He felt her fingers ever so timidly touch his cheek and he groaned, his passions held at bay for so long clamoring to be released. He deepened the kiss, his hand reaching around her neck to pull her closer. She moaned into his mouth, her lips parting beneath his. Gingerly he ran his tongue along her bottom lip. Her mouth opened more and he greedily took what she offered. He heard the water ripple as her other arm came out her bath, wrapping around him as he drank her in, tasting her, feeling her in his arms.

"Kenshin? When's dinner?" He heard Yahiko call out.

"Oi! Yahiko, Kenshin's not in there!" Sano hollered, his voice much closer than Kenshin cared for.

Swearing under his breath, he felt Battousai screech in disappointment. He tore his lips from her and pulled away from the hot woman in his grasp. He stood, averting his eyes and turning his back to her. He could hear Sanosuke leading the boy away. Damn that child sometimes!

Behind him he heard Kaoru sink into the water. "Gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono." He whispered. He felt himself blushing and he reeled in his darker side. It was not easy. The hitokiri had been denied and would not take well to the disappointment. He took a shaky breath, attempting to calm himself. He didn't trust himself to move just yet, but he needed to get away from her, lest Battousai gain the upper hand.

"Kenshin?"

He closed his eyes, his heart aching to hear the anguish in that single word. Painfully, he stepped away from her. "Why did you come here?" She asked tearfully.

"It was an accident." He admitted, not quite sure how to confess the tall brunette had managed to trick him. But then, maybe he had wanted to be deceived.

"That's all it ever was, wasn't it?" She rose from the tub.

Her words made no sense to him "Oro?" Without thinking, he turned around, only to be knocked to the ground.

"Hentai!" She shrieked before dashing by him, a towel wrapped around body.

He struggled to see past the stars and heard the door slam closed behind her. He hit himself in the head. "Baka." He muttered. "You just hurt her far worse than anyone else could have."

* * * * *

The waning moon filtered through the partially cloudy sky. It was late, but sleep had not been forthcoming for Kaoru that night. She shivered slightly and pulled her blanket tighter around her shoulders. Around her the dojo was dark and silent. She had come for some peace of mind, staring at the stars, hoping for an answer that would never come.

Twice now Kenshin had walked away from her. Twice she had been positive he had been on the brink of succumbing. And twice the damn boy had interrupted. She should send him to the Akabeko for a few days. Maybe if there was nothing to disturb the stolen moment, Kenshin might actually yield. She groaned softly and buried her face in her arms.

What was wrong with her? Lately, her body had acted strangely. Her feelings for the rurouni were stronger than ever, and yet, they had now begun to go deeper. It had started several weeks before when she had walked past his room and noticed he was dressing. The door had been left slightly ajar and she couldn't resist peeking in. He was of a small stature and she had no doubt of his strength despite his size. Though she had tended his wounds before in the past, this time when she had spied his bare chest, something had fluttered within her. She had hurried away, her face flaming, her stomach in knots.

She desired him.

Kaoru had known she had become more irritable lately. She couldn't explain it. Every moment spent with the redhead left her frustrated. Sometimes, she wondered how he could be so oblivious to her yearning. Sano had commented on it one afternoon, earning himself a fresh bump on the head. He had wisely not said anything to her since then. Megumi had suggested seducing the man, and though Kaoru was greatly tempted, she could not bear the thought of rejection. But the night before everything had changed.

Kaoru had no doubt, the near kiss could have been a result of catching him unawares, something very few people could accomplish. But then how did one explain their interlude in the bathhouse? Her blood began to boil remembering the heated kiss that afternoon. She had noticed the look in Sanosuke's eyes before she flounced away. What had struck her was the surprising glint in Kenshin's eyes. It had mirrored the one last night; his violet eyes speckled with amber, letting her know that Battousai was near the surface. She had shivered underneath that gaze and fled, not understanding the meaning of it.

She had nearly grasped what was happening to her before she had awoken from her reverie. The lust she had seen in Kenshin's eyes had roused something long dormant within her. It had caused her loins to tingle; nothing she dared to do could satiate the fervent fever, which would erratically flush through her. Only one thing remained certain. Only the redhead could quench her lust.

Sighing, she rested her head on the post, her blue eyes on the sky above. The clouds had begun to gather again and it would be only a matter of time before another storm erupted. They were common in the middle of summer. Usually she enjoyed a good thunderstorm, awestruck in the ferocious beauty that was nature. But now, the idea of a storm reminded her of the teasing encounters with the rurouni.

Kaoru became aware of someone behind her. She heard a floorboard creak and she turned slowly. Standing just within the shadows was Kenshin. He watched her and in the pale light, their eyes met. She wondered how long he had stood there and why he decided now to alert her to his presence. The thought brought a twisting to her stomach. She took a shaky breath in an attempt to calm her frayed nerves. They had not spoken since she had run out on him, dinner being a silent affair.

"Couldn't sleep?" She asked, surprised at her success of sounding nonchalant.

"No."

"Bad dream?"

"Not exactly."

Her blue eyes blinked. What was that supposed to mean? "Would you like to sit?" She asked tentatively.

"If you like."

"I like."

Slowly he came and lowered himself next to her on the step. His gaze went to the moon and Kaoru sighed. She turned her eyes once more to the sky, enjoying his nearness. They watched the stars quietly, the only sounds the chirping crickets and the occasional hoot of an owl.

"Kaoru-dono? May I ask you a question?" He asked, breaking the silence. She nodded. "What do you want from your life?"

"How do you mean?"

"Don't you want to get married, have a family?"

She watched him curiously. Where had that come from? Could he have been as affected by what had happened as she? She licked her lips, searching for the answer she was supposed to give. How could she tell him she did want those things, only she wanted them with him? Yet she was afraid any other answer might send him wandering again.

"Someday." She answered finally. He nodded to himself and turned his face once more to the sky. "What of you Kenshin? What do you want out of life? Don't you want to get married?"

The man hesitated and Kaoru realized she held her breath. A flash of pain crossed his face, his fingers straying to his left cheek. She grimaced, knowing he thought of Tomoe and she cursed herself silently. "I do not deserve those things, that I do not." He stated firmly.

"How can you say that?" She demanded, irritation flowing through her. "Everyone deserves happiness, no matter who they are. You have atoned for your sins."

His eyes darkened. "I am not everyone."

She brushed her dark hair from her face. "Of course you aren't. You're Kenshin. Whether you want to believe it or not, you are one of the most noble men I have ever met in my life. If you continue to disparage yourself, then you won't ever find peace." She stated fiercely.

His eyes watched her a moment and a thin smile touched his lips. "Ever so understanding, that you are, Kaoru-dono. But the world is not as forgiving as you."

"Who cares about the rest of the world?" She practically shouted. She clapped hand over her mouth, remembering that Yahiko slept still. She did not want this disrupted. "What does the rest of the world matter in this moment?" She whispered heatedly.

His smiled deepened and he touched her cheek tenderly. Immediately her temper cooled and her breath caught. Until the night before, he had never touched her in such an intimate manner. "You have such a beautiful heart, Kaoru-dono."

Her cheeks heated and she looked away. Her eyes went once more to the stars and she saw a shooting star. Her eyes went wide and then she shut them closed. Please let Kenshin love me the way I want him. Please, she pleaded silently. After a moment she opened her eyes and snuck a glance at the man at her side. He also watched the sky and she wondered if he had seen the falling star. She stifled a yawn and bit her lip. Timidly, she lowered her head to his shoulder. Her cheek touched the material and she allowed herself to become enveloped in his scent. Kenshin didn't move and she relaxed, relishing in the feel of him. Kaoru felt something stir her hair and she frowned. Something definitely brushed by the top of her head and she raised it abruptly.

Her eyes widened as she caught herself staring into the shocked gaze of Kenshin. He swallowed. They stared at each other, for how long she didn't know. Then he started to back away. Before he could leaver her again, she leaned in, pressing her lips to his. She felt the shock reverberate through him before he returned the kiss. His hand strayed to her shoulder and then he was pulling away again. "I can't."

Tears threatened. "Why?"

He looked away sadly. "I am not worthy."

Her heart ached for him. Was there nothing she could say to convince him? "What about for one night? Don't you at the very least deserve that? Don't I deserve that?" She implored, knowing it might be hopeless.

* * * * *

The glow from the window lightened and Kaoru became aware of the clammy air. She curled up in a tight ball, pulling her blankets tighter about herself. She clenched her eyes closed, memories of the previous night flooding her mind. Kenshin had swept her into his arms and Kaoru had momentarily thought he would acquiesce and her wish would be granted. However he had carried her to her room and laid her gently on the mattress. He had gently brushed her hair from her face and tenderly pressed his lips to her cheek. Then he had quietly left her, her mind lost in confused turmoil.

Another nightmare had visited her once more, this one of Gohei, flinging the door to the dojo open and advancing upon her. She had screamed, but no help had come. Then Gohei had grabbed her, pulling her to him. "Where's Battousai now?" He had sneered. She had fought against him, but the man was huge. His arms had encircled her, her cries being drowned out. She didn't even know when tears had begun to stream down her face.

"Kaoru-dono!"

The cry had broken through and she had paused. Only Kenshin called her that. Then the hands on her were gentle and the body pressed against her warm and soothing. "Kaoru-dono. It is all right. I am here."

She had thrown her arms about the redhead, her cries wracking her body. How long they had sat that way, him calming her, she wasn't really sure. After some time, her sobs quieted, her sniffles less frequent. Pulling away from his warm embrace, Kaoru stiffened. "Why are you here?" She had asked.

Pain flashed in his amethyst eyes and Kaoru bit her lip. He rose swiftly. "I will leave you."

"No!" She cried, fear threatening to overwhelm her again. Tears filled her blue eyes. He couldn't leave her.

Kenshin dropped to his knees and quickly took her into his arms again to calm her. His hand brushed her hair. "I am not leaving you, that I am not."

At some point she had fallen asleep in his embrace.

Now she lay in her empty room, the blankets around her chin, her heart empty. Reluctantly, she sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes. Damp light trickled in through the closed windows. The air was already slightly sticky. She rose and changed. Pulling her hair up into its classic ponytail, she glanced at herself in the mirror. What could she do to prove herself to him? What could she do to help him prove himself to himself?

With a shrug, she left her room, headed for the dining room. The smell of breakfast eventually greeted her and she eagerly sat down. Yahiko was already seated at the table. "Nice of you to join us, busu." He muttered, seconds before Kenshin entered with a plate full of food.

The redhead paused when his violet eyes landed on her. She felt her heart stop, waiting for something from him. A soft smile touched his features. "Morning, Kaoru-dono."

"Morning." She plummeted, though she returned the smile. What had she expected, a marriage proposal? Her gaze dropped to the table in front of her and she picked at the plate of food. Yahiko wolfed down his meal, not noticing the tension in the air. Moments later, there was a call from the courtyard announcing Sanosuke's arrival. She looked up when he appeared in the doorway and she offered him a smile. "Morning Sano."

His brown eyes studied her face for a moment before glancing at Kenshin. "Sleep okay last night Jou-chan?" He asked, plopping down next to her at the table.

Apprehension touched her and she risked a look in Kenshin's direction. He seemed intent on his food. Her shoulders fell and she shook her head sadly. "No, I really didn't." She murmured.

The bite of food paused halfway to the tall man's mouth and he offered her a sheepish grin. "Gomen."

She shrugged, feeling a bit dejected. A shiver touched her and she glanced outside. The sun heated the moist air, shimmering in between the thick clouds. "It happens."

A hand touched her shoulder and she looked into the earnest face of Yahiko. "You don't have to worry Kaoru. I promise I won't leave you. So you can stop crying out at night." He told her. His sincerity struck a cord within her and she felt tears threaten.

"Arigatou." She whispered. How had the boy known her fear?

"Besides, all that crying makes you even uglier than you already are." He laughed.

Her temper flared and she reached to grab him. He danced merrily away from her and out the door. She gritted her teeth. "Leave him be, Jou-chan. You know you'll punish him later."

She grinned at him, her mood lightening. "You know I will."

He chuckled and a warm feeling came over her in the moment. For some reason she felt as though she and Sanosuke had shared a private joke and she enjoyed it. She glanced at Kenshin to see how he had reacted and blinked. The man was still, his amethyst eyes on them. Something flashed in their depths, something she had not quite seen before. It was nothing dangerous; there was no sign of the hitokiri. And yet she could tell the rurouni was not pleased. His jaw tightened ever so much.

He rose, clearing the plates from the table. "I will get started on cleaning up, that I will." He said, his voice slightly tense.

Kaoru watched him leave and turned at the sound Sano made. "Come with me." He said, his plate in his hands.

Feeling a bit lost at what had just occurred, she rose and followed the man out onto the porch. "What is it?" She asked, settling next to him outside.

"What is going on between you and Kenshin?"

Taken aback, she merely stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"I know something happened the other night. He went to your room and you awoke. He says Yahiko interrupted you."

"He told you that?" She asked incredulously. She gnawed on her lower lip. "I'm not really sure what happened. He didn't kiss me then. I'm still trying to figure out what happened yesterday afternoon." She asserted.

The man at her side choked on his food. "Nani? In the bathhouse? He kissed you?"

Too late she realized her folly. It had plagued her for so long. But how did he know something had happened then? She recalled hearing his voice when the boy had come looking for the rurouni. But how had he known to steer him away. "How do you know it was in the bath house?" She asked slowly.

The man colored and put his half eaten plate on the ground. He didn't answer. "You sent him there! You knew I was in there bathing, didn't you?"

"At least I didn't come looking for something." He tried to argue.

"Sano!"

He grinned at her and shrugged. "I was trying to get you two together. It's ridiculous watching you dance around your own desires."

"Kenshin doesn't desire me." She stated, her mood darkening again.

"Yes he does."

"Then why does he push me away?" She pleaded.

The man scratched the back of his head. "I don't really know. Kenshin doesn't tell me what goes on in his head. I just know he cares for you very much. For some reason, he won't touch you. I think it's because he feels he is tainted and you're so good, Jou-chan."

Kaoru raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"You are pure in your way. You have a sweet disposition and an open heart. I think that is why Kenshin is drawn to you. However, if he allows you too close, then he is afraid of pushing his past on you and ruining your innocence."

She wrinkled her nose. "I am not so innocent." She retorted, her cheeks flaming. Her thoughts turned wicked and briefly she recalled one of her dirtier fantasies. She quickly dismissed it, realizing Sanosuke watched her.

He chuckled. "Mayhap not. But regardless, Kenshin has you on a pedestal very few people have ever stood upon. I can think of only one person who might have been there in his mind."

"Tomoe." She whispered. His first love was forever a presence, though she was dead. He had a constant reminder of her perpetually branded on his left cheek. How it hurt to think she could never compare to a woman long dead. "How can I compete with that? All he remembers about her was the goodness she was. I am here and he is constantly seeing my mistakes." She told him bitterly.

"Damn, Jou-chan. You sound a bit like Megumi."

Her blue eyes blinked. "Really?"

He nodded and poked her jovially in the ribs. "Very sly, you are."

Rubbing her temples, Kaoru sighed. "I don't feel very sly. I still haven't figured out a way to get him to love me."

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I think he does. He just needs to let it happen."

"At this rate I'll be as old as he is."

Sanosuke snickered. "He isn't that old. He isn't thirty yet, remember?"

***********

Megumi smoothed her hair down before ringing the bell. She figured the tori-atama would already be within and she needed to remain calm. She had been slightly surprised when she had received the summons, not from Kaoru, but from Kenshin himself. Her feelings for the rurouni had long since faded. It was apparent to her his heart belonged to the tanuki, even if the girl didn't believe it. The two had become closer, since the rivalry for the redhead's affections had ended. Now Megumi had her eye on someone else, but he could be just as dense as Kenshin sometimes.

The gate opened and Kenshin stood there. The sleeves of his gi were pushed up and she could only imagine he had been in the middle of some chore.

"Megumi-dono, I am glad you came, that I am."

She shrugged and tossed her long dark hair over her shoulder. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Kaoru-dono isn't well."

She studied him. The woman had seen Kaoru, not even a week ago and she had seemed fine, sexually frustrated to no end, but otherwise completely healthy. "What's wrong?"

He gestured for her to come in, and Megumi did. He closed the gate behind her. "Her nightmares have become more frequent, that they have."

"And?"

The man's cheeks turned a slight shade of pink. "I want for her to find some peace so she may sleep well again."

"I see." Megumi thought about it for a moment, lingering behind Kenshin as he led the way towards the dojo. It was probably nothing a good roll in the sack wouldn't cure, but she couldn't very well tell Kenshin that. "I don't think there is really anything I can give her that will really help her. I could give her something to sleep, but the nightmares won't necessarily go away."

He paused and his shoulders slumped. "I just wish I knew what plagued her every night."

Her heart warmed and she felt a stab of jealousy. He loved Kaoru so much; she couldn't understand why he refused to allow Kaoru to love him. Here he was, wanting desperately to end her suffering in a world he could not protect her from. She touched him gingerly on the arm. "Have you asked her?"

Slowly he shook his head. "Sano has told me his suspicions, but I know nothing of what I can do to assure her she will never be alone."

"Even if you wander away again?"

Now Kenshin looked away. She couldn't tell but she thought she might have seen guilt in his eyes. "It's not a matter of that. I don't know if I'll leave here. I don't know why I would. She's here and she's become my whole world, that she has."

Her breath caught, wanting him to continue. It was the first time she had known for the rurouni to so anything remotely close to admitting he loved her, at least out loud.

When he didn't elaborate, she sighed. "I do not fully believe you leaving is what she is afraid of. It is the uncertainty of whether you will return or not."

The violet eyes met hers, a thoughtful look to them. He offered her a smile then. "Still, maybe you should talk to Kaoru-dono. I think she could use a *female* friend to converse with."

Taken aback by how quickly he could change moods, she failed to notice the emphasis on the word female. She followed him around the corner. Kaoru and Sanosuke sat on the step, chuckling about something. Immediately, her temper flared and she threw her arm through Kenshin's. How dare the tanuki flirt with him so blatantly? She laughed heartily at nothing and snuggled into Kenshin's side. He said nothing though she did feel his shoulders heave so slightly in a sigh.

Kaoru rose, her dark azure eyes narrowing slightly. "Megumi, what are you doing here?"

"I thought you and I should continue our conversation from the other day. Ken-san was nice enough to let me in."

Her jaw tightened. "That was thoughtful of him. However, Kenshin would allow any stray animal in here if it needed something to eat."

Megumi sucked in her breath. That had hurt. Her brown eyes landed on Sanosuke and he watched the scene impassively. Kaoru tossed her dark hair over her shoulder haughtily. "What more could you possibly have to tell me, anyway?"

"Much more than you could imagine." She smirked.

The younger woman glowered and Megumi couldn't help but laugh out loud. She knew the moment the two men were out of sight, they would fall on each other like long lost sisters. For whatever reason the play had to be performed this way for their benefit. At least until one of them developed some sense.

Sano rose then, and grabbed Kaoru's arm. Megumi's eyes narrowed. That was not a part of the script. He shot her a dark look before leaning down to whisper something into the woman's ear. Kaoru blushed a deep shade of red and she giggled nervously. As the man pulled away, he pressed a tender kiss on her cheek.

Megumi immediately dropped Kenshin's arm, her jealousy raging now. Who did he think he was? However, nothing could foresee the reaction of the man at her side. He grew stiff, his eyes staring at the tall brunette. Then without a word, he turned on his heel and walked away. Startled, Megumi could only watch him walk away. The man was fuming, and it struck her that envy was not a common emotion for the man to feel. Undecided, Kaoru eventually stepped off the porch.

"Gomen." She whispered to Megumi as she passed. She nodded her acceptance and watched the woman disappear after the rurouni.

"So why are you really here, kitsune?"

Her heart fluttered, her temper cooling at hearing his nickname for her. "I came to see Kaoru. Kenshin is worried about her."

"So was the ruse really necessary?"

Arrogantly she crossed her arms and sniffed. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

He stepped towards her and she caught a scent of him on the moist air. "Sure you do. Why you feel the need to drape yourself all over Kenshin is beyond me." He said bitterly.

"And what of you? What was that just now with the tanuki?" She fired back.

A smile broke out on his handsome face. "So you were paying attention."

She opened her mouth, but found no smart comeback to give. "I pay more attention than you seem to think. You're the one who hasn't got a clue." She sneered after a moment.

Sano studied her and she felt her heart speed up as anxiety touched her. "I notice more than you obviously give me credit for."

She swallowed, not sure if she wanted this conversation to continue. "What's going on with Kenshin?" She asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know." He scratched his head. "Something has changed in their relationship though. Jou-chan would only say that he has been coming to her at night when she has the nightmares. Apparently two nights ago and then yesterday afternoon, something happened between them. I don't know what exactly, but it changed the dynamic between them."

"Meaning what, exactly."

"Meaning Kenshin can no longer live in denial."

********

Much hugs and kisses to you all. Hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter will be out soon. And don't forget to let me know what you think! ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own any of these characters. But that's okay. I have learned to live with it.

* * * * * * * *

The moment Sanosuke's lips had touched Kaoru's cheek, Kenshin had lost it. How could the man do this to him? Not knowing what to do, and knowing he could really do nothing, he had merely walked away. He had no ownership over the woman, nor would he want it. She was not a woman to merely be possessed. Then what was this he was feeling? He had felt a flicker of it after breakfast, the camaraderie between Kaoru and Sano biting into him. Jealousy was so foreign to him. He once thought he had prepared himself for this.

Months ago Sanosuke had asked him how he would feel if Kaoru decided to be with someone else. At the time he had been ready to admit he would be okay, though not elated. The idea of another man touching her, being with her the way he dreamed was nauseating. All right, maybe he would not okay, but he would learn to live with it. He had accepted the chances of her leaving him were far greater than him abandoning her. But there was a difference now than when he had told Sano his position. He now knew his passion was reciprocated.

How long had he been denying how she felt? True he had never fully understood the woman's feeling towards him, but all that had changed in the last three days. She did want him, seemingly with the same intensity that he wanted her. But he could not touch her, for so many reasons, he could no longer comprehend. Did he really want to anymore? The arguments he had already won against himself were forgotten. What had the man said to her to make her blush so?

The image of Sanosuke kissing her cheek burned into his mind. Even now the image was branded into his mind. The tall man might be the only one worthy of Kaoru's affections. Yet the man was supposed to be of no threat. Kenshin trusted him and knew he would take care of her. Any other man to enter Kaoru's life would never measure up. However, that did not give Sanosuke the right to touch her in anything more than a brotherly fashion.

He swore softly under his breath, wanting nothing more than to punch something and knowing that was not an option he could take.

"Kenshin?"

He paused, hearing his name in the humid afternoon. Slowly he turned and saw her standing there. What could he do? He wanted to claim her right there, feel her writhing underneath him, knowing she would then belong to him. But he couldn't do that. He had drawn the line and he could not, would not cross it. He gritted his teeth, willing himself to calm down. When had he lost the composure he had spent so long wrapping around him?

It occurred to him it was the moment he had met her, that day on the street so long ago. No matter what it was, if it affected her directly or even indirectly, he lost himself to the whirlwind of his emotions, emotions that were so closely linked to Battousai. Those passions lingered just now below the surface, and Kenshin wanted nothing more than to unleash them.

"Kenshin?" He blinked from his thoughts. She had taken a step closer to him. "Are you alright?"

He swallowed thickly and she reached to touch his cheek. He pulled back, not knowing if he could handle her caress in this moment. She flinched and he immediately regretted the flash of pain in her luminescent eyes. He offered her a weak smile. "I am fine, that I am."

"I don't believe you."

He shook his head sadly, wanting to tell her what was wrong. He took a controlled step towards her and stopped. If he got too close to her, he just might lose what shred of his sanity he had left. Battousai wanted nothing more than to take her and he couldn't afford to lose control.

"Did Megumi do something?" She asked, coming towards him.

Inadvertently he backed away. "No, nothing like that." He answered, his desire banging at the door as her scent drifted towards him.

"You are not well, I know it." She reached to place a hand on his forehead and he flinched away once more from her touch.

Anguish flashed through her eyes and he turned away so he wouldn't have to see the pain he caused her. He took a deep breath, an attempt to regain his judgment "I am fine, Kaoru-dono. You should return and see what Megumi wishes to speak with you about, that you should."

"She is talking to Sano at the moment." There was a pause. "Did he do something?"

Her voice was closer and her hand touched his shoulder. Unable to take it anymore, Kenshin whirled, startling her. His hands were on her arms, her body brushing against his. "He should have known better." He whispered huskily. Again he swallowed.

Her blue eyes were wide, her breathing coming in short gasps. "Why? About what?"

Anxiously he licked his lips wanting so much to crush her to him and kiss her senseless. He didn't know if he could do this anymore. All his composure was gone, the training he had spent years perfecting flew from his mind. The lid he kept so carefully on his brimming emotions jarred loose. He was only aware of Kaoru, her smell, her touch, and her presence. Agony washed through him as he caressed her cheek. He shouldn't touch her. It would only entice him to move beyond what he was allowed. But her love for him was so apparent. How he wanted to accept it, take everything she offered and more. "You cannot be with another man." He allowed his selfish side to tell her.

She blinked in confusion. "Be with another man? Who said I wanted to be with someone else?"

He continued to run his finger over her cheekbone. "No one will ever be worthy of your love. And any man who attempts to try will have to deal with me."

Anger filled her gaze now and she slapped his hand away from her face. "So what exactly does that mean? I can't ever be with a man, because you say so?"

"Hai."

"And who are you to tell me this?" She demanded, her fury rolling off her. "If it means anything, I don't want to be with another man. I never will."

"You shouldn't say things you do not mean, that you should not."

"Listen here." She walked up to him and poked a finger into his chest. Her eyes were lit with a blue fire, her features set in determination. He had seen her like this on a few occasions, but none had aroused him in such a manner before. She was stunning in her anger. "I only say things I mean, at least where you are concerned. And what you're telling me is I might as well take a vow of chastity."

"That is not what I'm--"

"Yes it is. I can't be with another man? So what? The problem is Kenshin, you won't let me be with the one man I want to be with."

"And I have told you, you deserve more." He ground out, his passion at a breaking point. If she continued, she just might get more than she bargained for.

"Stop!" She cried, tears gathering in her eyes. "You might as well just leave." She spit and took a step away from him. "You hate me so much that you can not give me even a moment of happiness? When will I get what I want?"

"Things are never that simple, Kaoru-dono. There is too much at stake."

"I don't see how. I get what I want, and I assume you get what you want." Suddenly her eyes glazed over and she drew in sharp intake of breath. "Or is that really what it is? You don't want me."

"Kaoru-dono." He reached for her arm as she turned away, her tears beginning to fall. She pulled away from him, jerking her arm from his grasp. He grabbed her again, pulling her to him. Don't let her walk away, he screamed to himself, his only thought to keep her from leaving him. Before she could fully react, he pressed his lips down on hers, devouring her mouth, trying to let her know he did want her, would always want her. He knew Battousai was the one clamoring for her, but the rurouni wanted her too. He could no longer deny his feelings. Both of his demeanors needed her desperately. He tried to convey this to Kaoru, his lips moving over hers. She reacted with an almost wild abandon, her arms thrown around his neck. Her mouth opened and he took what he wanted, attempting to slake his hunger for her. Then she was pulling away.

"No, no, no! I will not let you do this to me!" She cried. Her cheeks were wet, her chest heaving. "I will not have you break me again."

Again? His mind wondered. She struck him and his hands fell from her. When had he broken her? Could she not understand how much he cared for her? He loved her too much to ruin her. Then how had he already accomplished the one thing he promised himself never to do?

Kaoru ran away from him and into the dojo. Dumbly he stared after her. It took him a moment to notice Sanosuke and Megumi standing at the corner of the house. Mutely he glanced at them. The tall woman exchanged a glance with the brunette before heading inside. Sano ambled over, his hands in his pockets.

"It's not as easy as you used to think, is it?"

"What?"

"Seeing Jou-chan with someone else."

Kenshin glared at him, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "You did that intentionally, that you did."

The tall man took a step away, his hands up. "I did it more for the kitsune's benefit than yours. That was an added bonus."

"Bonus for whom?" He demanded, his anger beginning to rise.

"For Jou-chan. Except you're being extremely pigheaded about the whole thing, you know that?"

"Oro?"

"Stubborn. I don't understand why you won't just let her love you."

Kenshin sighed audibly, his anger draining away from him. He knew that the hitokiri would always be restless until he got what he wanted. He no longer had the satisfaction of killing; the rurouni had managed to put a stop to that. But his lust for this woman was nearly too much. If only she didn't love him. Then he could handle his passion. But now that she had practically professed her feelings, he could not look back.

The rurouni loved her and wanted her happy. Never would he allow someone to hurt her. He would always protect and cherish her. The hitokiri loved her and would allow no one to touch her. Both sides warring within him wanted the same thing. Why not just give in to the temptation that was Kaoru?

"Because she deserves more; she deserves better." The redhead retorted, answering Sanosuke's spoken and his own unspoken question.

"Why don't you allow her to decide? And if she loves you, why not seize upon that. You are nothing without her. I remember what happened when you thought she was dead. And if for some reason that ever changes, you will know that you enjoyed your time with her. Would you change your time with Tomoe, knowing how that time of your life would come to an end?"

It was a pertinent question. Would he? Once upon a time he would have done anything to prevent her death. He had spent so long wishing his own end would come upon him, knowing he deserved it. But then he had met Kaoru. Death was no longer desired. She filled his life with light and she needed him in a way no one ever had. He would not have wished Tomoe's death; if he could, he would have found a way to allow her to live, even now. But he would never have met Kaoru. How different life could have been for everyone involved. Perhaps, Kaoru was to be his salvation, just as he knew he had been hers.

"Do you think destiny brought us all to this point?" He wondered aloud, his thoughts still running rampant in his mind.

Sano shrugged. "I know nothing about destiny or fate. I have realized that no man is ever worthy enough for the woman he loves. But everyone deserves happiness, even if for a moment. Otherwise what's the point of living?"

"The point of living." He whispered, more to himself. He looked at his friend. "And what of the past?" He asked, curious to what the man would say. He had never thought the man prone to philosophical matters.

"The past is the past. Nothing you can do can change it. It is a part of who you are…"

He grimaced and once more Kenshin's mind turned sour. "It is a part of who I am." He said, a trace of bitterness in his voice.

"But Jou-chan still loves you, despite that. Because it is a part of who you are."

"And she fears me for it."

"That's where you're wrong. You seriously have deluded yourself here, Kenshin. You have convinced yourself that Jou-chan is afraid of Battousai and that's not the case."

Now Kenshin blinked in surprise. "Not…afraid…of Battousai?"

"Not like that. She doesn't want him to reemerge for fear you'll break your vow, though I believe she does love him to a degree. But the rurouni is the one who will leave her. The rurouni is whom she fears. You already broke her heart once. What's to prevent you from doing it again?" Sanosuke asked him.

His violet eyes widened with incredulity. "I don't have her heart, though. How can I break it?"

Rolling his brown eyes, the man reached over and slapped him upside the head. "But you do. If you walk away from her now, she will never love another man. Even if you don't walk away, she will spend eternity waiting for you to reciprocate her feelings. She already belongs to you. You just won't admit it."

"Already…belongs to me?"

"And people think I'm dense." The brunette muttered. He sighed is exasperation. "I don't know when she gave it to you, but she did. Long before you left for Kyoto all those months ago. Why the hell do you think she followed you? Just as you are nothing without her, she is nothing without you."

Kenshin stared at the cloudy sky. The clouds had thickened and he could feel another pending storm on the horizon. He had suspected he had hurt her when he left her then. Obviously in his own fallacy, he hadn't perceived how deeply it had cut her. He had sworn never to hurt her. Though at the time, he had thought himself noble, he realized he had been extremely selfish in his decision.

"Perhaps it is time I make it up to her."

*********

A rumble of thunder filled the silence of the dojo. Just like she had the previous evening, Kaoru had been unable to sleep, her thoughts running wild inside her head. But things were different tonight. She had somehow conveyed to Megumi what had transpired between her and the redhead. The older woman had shaken her head and sighed.

"Do not lose hope, tanuki." She had patted her on the head, offering her something to help her sleep.

Kaoru had shaken her head, not really wanting sleep to come this night. The woman had agreed to take Yahiko with her. The young boy had been none too happy to leave the dojo, even for a night. He finally seemed to pick up on the tension and wanted to be away. But then that had left her and Kenshin alone. She had not left her room. He had brought her a tray of food for dinner, knocking softly on the door. The man had stood outside her door for ten minutes, waiting for her to answer. She had ignored him, her food cold by the time she finally retrieved it.

Now, night had settled around the dojo, the humidity making the air sticky and nearly unbearable. She had at last abandoned her room, the feeling of being enclosed making her crazy. Plus she had heard Kenshin retire to his room and she hoped he had found sleep easier than she. Now she stood on the porch, the lightning flickering in the distance, the promise of some break in the still, hot air approaching.

Thunder cracked again, louder and closer this time and the wind stirred her loose hair. She shivered, the temperature finally lowering as the storm drew nearer. She watched the flickering light, her mood not really into watching the storm. She wanted to scream, her frustration at an all time high. She just wished she understood what it was that was bothering her.

Sighing Kaoru turned and headed back to her room, the bluish light showing her the way. The walls rumbled slightly and she began to hear the soft patter of rain on the roof at last. She saw that her door was open and she paused. Alert, her blue eyes scanned the doorway and she spotted the figure leaning against the doorframe.

She took in a shaky breath before speaking. "What are you doing here?"

Lightning flashed, illuminating Kenshin's face, though his eyes were unreadable. "I came to see you."

"Why?"

"There is something I need to explain to you."

Wearily Kaoru rubbed the back of her neck. She hated the tension between her and Kenshin. She had no clue where it had come from and she wanted things to go back to normal. Well, not exactly, but she was tired of arguing and waiting for something that would never happen. Maybe there was something Megumi could give her to satiate these strange yearnings that her body was feeling. "Yes?"

"Please come and have a seat."

"It's my room."

He held out his hand for apology and she bit her lip. "Gomen nasai."

She sighed and stepped through the threshold. She turned to him, his violet eyes still unreadable in the shadows. He sounded sincere, though slightly different than usual. "Please, come inside." She offered after a moment.

The redhead bowed slightly and he entered after her. Thunder boomed off the walls, and Kaoru went to light her lamp. Cool fingers enclosed over hers as she went to strike the match and she looked up in surprise. He was so close, the scent of cedar and spice filling her nostrils. Lightning flashed and she saw something in the depths of his eyes she had only seen recently. It made her heart beat and she licked her lips.

"Leave it. The storm will provide any illumination we might need."

The way he said those words struck something deep within her and she felt anxiety touch her along with that sensation she had only begun to figure out.

"I don't quite understand." She stammered when he pulled back and gracefully lowered himself into a lotus position next to her futon. She followed suit on her sleeping pallet, a bit more awkward than he.

"I'm not really sure I understand myself."

That really made her wonder. "You said you needed to explain something?"

Kenshin nodded and swallowed. He rubbed his palms on his pants and it struck her that he was as nervous as she. Why?

"This isn't easy for me. I don't understand any of it. I just know that it is. I don't know when it happened or how it happened. All I know was that I never thought it could happen again. And then somehow it did. I can't fight it anymore, that I can not, and I don't think I really want to."

Her blue eyes blinked trying to follow his train of thought. "Huh?"

A nervous chuckled issued from his throat. "Do you still want your one night?" He asked suddenly.

Kaoru shook her head, his question trying to register. "My…one night?"

"Your …one night…with…me?"

Her mouth fell open in shock. Lightning followed quickly by thunder broke through her disbelief and her jaw quickly snapped closed. Here he was offering her what she had always wanted. "What's the catch?"

"Catch?"

Her worst fear stuck her and fought against her desperation. "You're leaving aren't you?"

"Oro?"

"You decided to finally succumb so you can leave and not come back, didn't you?" She demanded.

"No, you misunderstand."

"Well you can forget it." She snapped, her voice rising as the rain began to drum harder on the roof. "I don't want a single night anymore."

Disbelief was evident in his eyes as the blue light lit the room brilliantly. "Don't… want it?"

"I can be selfish too." Kaoru stated, rising to her feet. "I don't want one night. I want more."

"More?"

"More than you apparently are willing to give."

"And you know this for a fact?"

"Know what?" She asked, swiping at her cheeks, her anger mixed with her grief.

Kenshin came to his feet and approached her. He gripped her arms in his hands and she stared up at him, confusion intermingling with her other emotions. "I am not going anywhere. If I ever feel the need to wander again, I will drag you along with me. You are my world, the one person I live for."

Her blue eyes searched his face, the storm lighting his face for her. The stark emotion she saw there made her head spin. Never had the man left himself so open, always remaining guarded behind his mask. He gently touched her face. "I don't know how to tell you what I want. For so long I deluded myself into thinking it was only my heart I was denying, that you felt nothing for me. And it didn't matter, for you deserve so much out of life, so much more than I can ever dream of giving you."

He swallowed and took a deep breath. "For so long the hitokiri inside has wanted you. And the rurouni inside has wanted you."

"But don't you get it?" She whispered. "They are both you."

The redhead nodded. "I only realize this now. And I couldn't understand why you would still want me. My past is so tainted."

"How many times have I told you I don't care about the past?!" She cried vehemently, thunder booming on her words. "It's a part of who you are and I love you despite that!"

Immediately she covered her mouth with her hands. There it was out in the open for both of them to hear. She knew by now he had to have known how she felt. But it was so different to hear it out loud. Kenshin took her hands and gently pulled them away from her mouth. "Say it again."

Tears spilled down her cheeks and she shook her head. "Please." He pleaded, his eyes searching her face. "I need to hear you say it again, that I do."

Feeling a touch of embarrassment, she closed her eyes. "I love you." She whispered hoarsely.

His fingers touched her cheek again and brushed her long dark hair from her face. "I came here tonight because I had made a choice. I wanted to present it to you and give it to you. You're the one with the most to lose and I have already broken your heart once. I don't begin to comprehend why you love me. And though I do and will always believe you are worthy of so much more, I wonder if you will still have me."

Kaoru felt her eyes widen. "What?" Her voice was barely a whisper, her heart stopped and it was any wonder she didn't fall over from her amazement.

"Kaoru-dono." He licked his lips and took a deep breath. "Kaoru, Will you still have this unworthy one?"

*****************

I hope you all are enjoying this story and I have met up to everyone's standards. Don't even think it's over yet. What do you think will happen next? ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry this took me a bit longer to get up. My computer exploded and it took me some time to figure out how to save my hard drive. The immense terror of losing everything I had ever written had me freaking out! Fortunately I have a good friend who is a computer wizard. So without further ado…

Here it is. The lemon chapter. So for those reading: **The following contains explicit sexual content.** Please do not read if you are easily offended or under the age eighteen. Consider yourself warned. Oh! And by the way, I don't own either Kenshin or Kaoru or any of these characters. I did feel they needed to relieve some of that tension so I borrowed them for a short bit.

*********

"How many times have I told you I don't care about the past?!" The woman cried, her voice in near hysterics. Thunder boomed and she pushed her long dark hair from her face absently. "It is a part of who you are and I love you despite that!" She cried.

Kenshin could only stare at her, his own eyes wide with shock. He had known she cared for him. Only in the last few days would he admit she had actually desired him. But to hear her say the words out loud, words he had never thought to hear said to him again, he almost didn't know what to do. Her hands had flown to her mouth, tears coursing down her flushed cheeks. He trembled, his need so great to hear it again.

Gently he pried her hands from her face. "Say it again." She shook her head vehemently and desperation touched him. "Please." He pleaded. He would get down on his knees and beg if he had to. "I need to hear you say it again."

Her chin lowered and her eyes closed. "I love you." She stated simply.

His breath caught and his heart felt free for the first time in so long. He caressed her cheek, brushing dark strands from her wet face. "I came here tonight because I had made a choice. I wanted to present it to you and give it to you. You're the one with the most to lose and I have already broken your heart once. I don't begin to comprehend why you love me." He took a deep breath and nodded once more to himself. He had to have her for now and forever or he would lose his mind. "Though I do and will always believe you are worthy of so much more, I wonder if you will still have me."

Koaru's eyes flew to his, their blue depths wide. "What?"

"Kaoru-dono." He paused and licked his lips. "Kaoru." He took a breath to steady his nerves. "Will you still have this unworthy one?"

The silence stretched and Kenshin couldn't recall when he had been more terrified in his life. He felt as though everything had been leading up to this moment. Her bottom lips trembled and he wondered if he had come too late. She had claimed earlier she no longer wanted one night. But he was willing to give her everything and more, if she would only accept him. Moments passed and then the woman lowered her head. Shyly she nodded. "Hai." Came the soft response.

Something burst within him and he swept her into his arms, hugging her tightly to him. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in deeply her scent of jasmine. He felt her nuzzle his neck. He growled, wanting her so much in this moment, not sure how to proceed. He wanted to ravish her here and now, but also wanted to cherish her, prove to her how much he did care.

She pulled back, lightning illuminating the room. She sucked in her breath with whatever she saw in his eyes and a timid smile touched her lips. He wondered what she saw in his face, his feelings so intense he could hardly stand it. Kenshin tenderly touched her cheek, hardly believing he could now. Then he placed his hand lightly on her back and gently tugged her to him. He caught her lips with his, his moan barely contained. Her lips were pliant and it took her a moment to react.

He pulled back softly. "Yahiko isn't here to interrupt us." He whispered, glad the boy had left with Megumi. Briefly he wondered if that had been the doctor's reasoning and decided he didn't care. He had Kaoru all to himself.

She threw her arms around his neck, her mouth softly grazing his temple. "I know." She whispered into his ear. The feel of her breath sent a shiver through him. Her fingers were on his hair and he felt her tug the band free. Turning his face into her neck, he reveled in the feel of her fingers running through the loose fiery strands. She left little kisses down his jaw and pulled back to glance up at him. "I'm a little scared."

He wanted to laugh out loud if she knew how he felt. "As am I." He told her, feeling a bit sheepish.

"Nani?" Her azure eyes opened wide. "But you were married… …before." She cringed at the mention of his first love.

He swept in and kissed her, trying to ease her fear. He barely registered the fact he didn't feel a flush of guilt at the mention of Tomoe. This was Kaoru's night and he would focus on her. "I haven't been with anyone since then." He cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "I will not do anything you don't want me to, that I won't. You have my word."

*******

Hearing him say those words to her made Kaoru's heart soar. Some of her anxiety fell from her and she couldn't help the single tear that fell from her lashes. The redhead would be gentle though she could tell he wanted to lose himself in her. It was a bit intimidating. In the illumination, she had seen his lust and something deeper and darker. She wondered if he needed her as much as she needed him. He leaned in and kissed the salty drop away. "Have no fear, Kaoru-dono. You are safe with me, that you are." He whispered and she giggled.

"Oro?"

"You don't have to use dono anymore." She told him softly.

He kissed her, his lips savoring hers, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip. "It will take some time, that it will."

Her breathing grew ragged, her heart racing. "If you keep kissing me like this, I'll give you all the time you need." She gasped.

Another growl emanated from his throat and he delved into her mouth. His tongue devoured her, her desire needing to find an outlet. She pressed herself to him insistently; the storm went unheeded in the background. Or maybe it was merely heightening her passions. Suddenly, she was stifling, wanting more than she had, her selfish side finally bubbling to the surface. She parted her lips, the man's teeth nibbling on her bottom lip. Then she tasted him, exploring him, her hands clutching at his shoulders.

Moaning softly into his mouth, his tongue moved over hers, the passion flaring between them. His hands were firm on her back and one gently moved around to lightly grip her waist. She felt weak and her head fell back, his mouth not leaving her and tracing wet kisses down her neck. Her back arched, her heels rising off the floor. Suddenly she was weightless and she languidly opened her eyes to see Kenshin lowering her to the mattress. He hovered above her, his eyes still on her face and she groaned, reaching up to him. She could feel his need, her lips tender from his passionate onslaught. But she didn't care; her arms were around him, pulling him closer, ever closer. He couldn't get close enough.

His hand was once more on her side and fluttered over her stomach. Her breath caught and he nuzzled her neck. His fingered gingerly moved up her front and she gasped in surprise when he caressed her breast through her kimono.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked huskily, his breath sending shivers through her as it tickled her ear. His hand moved and she placed her own on top of his. She pressed it back to her breast, her heart beating madly. It was a wonder he couldn't hear it over the drumming rain.

"I want you to touch me." She answered shyly. Her breath came out in another gasp as he thumb grazed the tip, her back arching into his grasp. "I want it all." She murmured, her mind fuzzy with the new sensations running wild through her.

She felt Kenshin smile against her neck. "I will give it to you." He sat up and pulled her up to a sitting position. He took a shaky breath and embraced her, his mouth seeking hers again. His hands were at her back and it took her a moment to realize he was untying the obi at her waist. Her anxiety came back, her heart thudding rapidly. After a moment it was loose and he pushed it to the side. Then he lowered her back to the futon, her movements no longer restricted and he kissed her until she relaxed again.

His hand was once more on her stomach and he pushed aside one flap of the garment. Her body trembled as his hand touched her skin, so warm and gentle. When it closed over her naked breast again, her back arched, the material falling off her leg. The natural impulse from her was to bend her leg and wrap it around his waist. She went with the instinct and was rewarded with a loud groan from the man in her arms. Kenshin shifted ever so slightly and suddenly Kaoru was aware of something pressing against the inside of her thigh.

His lips were on her neck again as he gently kneaded her bosom, his fingers tugging on the taut nipple, her breath ragged. Her fingertips roamed over his back. Suddenly she wanted to feel his flesh beneath her hands and her fingers moved to the tie at his waist. Impatiently she pulled it free and he chuckled into her shoulder. He pulled back and she shoved the gi from his shoulders, unaware of her own kimono falling open. He pushed it from her shoulders. Then he was on her again, the feel of hot skin on hot skin, more than either could take and Kaoru forgot to think and began to feel.

His mouth left their assault on her lips and she whimpered softly in protest. Then it was on her again, nibbling on her neck and her collarbone. His hand had left their ministrations of her breasts and began to stray down her abdomen. Then he licked down between her breasts and she gasped. Her fingers clasp his shoulders, her body tense for… …something. His breath gazed the tip of her nipple and she whimpered again, her back arching once more, wanting desperately to feel his mouth on her. Delicately his tongue licked the erect nub before closing around the soft mound. She curved into his mouth, her fingernails leaving marks on his skin. His fingers lightly caressed her mound, his long fingers tangling in the crinkly curls. She moaned, her head shaking form side to side.

Kenshin lifted his mouth and pressed a light kiss to her lips as his finger deftly searching her womanly folds for her secret core. It occurred to her through her haze that in the past weeks, this was where her frustration stemmed from and she opened her eyes wide when he gently caressed it. Her cry rivaled the crash of thunder and she noticed his eyes watching her reaction. He grinned at her as her body writhed underneath his hand. The man's eyes were deep in color, a golden hue to them and she knew then, he had someone managed to synchronize his two warring halves into one. A hint of a smirk touched his mouth and then he slid one finger inside her and she lost all composure, her back arcing so much to bring her nearly completely off the mattress. Slowly his finger moved in and out, his thumb still rubbing circles around her. Her body was building towards something, something Megumi had mentioned to her, but she had never understood. She wanted all of it. Now. She could not wait and Kaoru managed to find the tie that held the last barrier in place.

The wicked gleam in the man's eyes narrowed and for the first time he groaned. His hand left her and she moaned in disappointment, her body on the brink of something, yet so unfulfilled. "Patience." He muttered roughly, his hands removing hers from his waist, his lips on her stomach.

"No." She retorted petulantly, her hips moving as his tongue began to follow the path his fingers had traveled. "Right now." She whispered, and then she cried out as he placed a kiss on the center of her arousal, her feelings intensifying. Her hips bucked and once more a finger slid into her, his lips enclosed over her bulb of pleasure. Her arms flailed about her before settling on the man's head. It was coming, whatever it was as his tongue licked and his teeth nipped her. Whatever he was doing, it was right and she knew she might finally find her release. Kaoru bucked wildly, her back arching and then she grew rigid. Then with a loud cry, she felt herself fall over the edge, her body a sweating mess, her body quivering in such an intense way, she had no idea how she could still be alive.

Through a haze, she saw Kenshin move up towards her and she dimly became aware he was now completely naked. She wrapped her arms about him, hugging him to her. His lips found hers again and she noticed he was still frenzied, lost in the desire she had moments before succumbed to. Her eyes opened and she saw him hesitate. He nudged her legs open and settled himself over her. "The point of no return." He whispered, his voice tight with need.

She licked her lips, her heart speeding up again in anticipation. "A bit late for that now, don't you think?"

"Only if you're sure." He gritted.

It dawned her that in this moment she had complete control over the man in her arms. If she told him no, he would back off and not touch her for the rest of the night. Who knew what his reaction would be, but she could stop everything in this exact second. But why would she want to do that? She had waited so long for this moment. Gripping his shoulders, she pulled herself up and suckled his ear. "Make me your own." She whispered.

Kenshin shuddered and she felt something enter her and her head fell back. "Gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono. For the first and last time I will ever hurt you."

Alarmed she opened her eyes in shock and then he plunged into her. Pain seared through her and she cried out, biting into his shoulder in an attempt to dull the pain. She had forgotten the stories of the first time. A tear squeezed between her closed eyelids and she felt his fingers brush her hair from her face. He rained kisses down on her, apologies whispered to her. "Make it go away." She pleaded, not wanting him to stop, knowing it would be the only time it would happen.

Gingerly he began to move within her, and she felt herself beginning to build again. His cries mingled with hers as he moved faster. The pain ebbed away, replaced with such an intense ecstasy, she now knew why women would sell their morals in the dirtier parts of the city. However, she couldn't imagine feeling this with anyone other than Kenshin, the man she loved. Her legs wrapped around him and she groaned anew, the pressure hitting her in a slightly more delectable place. Together they moved, the need for each other finally being met. With a primitive groan, the man thrust into her, her own body releasing once more. He collapsed on top of her, both of them panting for air.

Dimly she became aware of his body pressing down on hers. It was only slightly uncomfortable making her unable to take a deep breath. The second thing she noticed was the storm seemed to have abated the steady rhythm of rain sounding on the roof. Kenshin abruptly pulled back, and she sucked in a deep breath.

"Why didn't you tell me I was heavy?" He chided.

She grinned lazily at him and hugged him to her. "I enjoyed feeling your weight on mine." She told him.

He rolled to the side, bringing her with him. "How do you feel?" Kenshin asked, slightly hesitant.

Kaoru snuggled into his embrace, nuzzling her nose in the dip of his shoulder. "Blissful." She murmured, sleep creeping up on her.

Kenshin's arms tightened around her and he pulled her close. "I'm glad."

Sleep threatened to overwhelm her and she returned the question. "How do you feel?" She asked sleepily.

"At peace." Kaoru heard him tell her distantly. She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head and then she was lost into the depths of slumber.

********

*************

It was the first time that she couldn't recall having a nightmare disturb her sleep. In fact she had been having the most astounding dream. Kenshin had come to her and finally succumbed. Though she didn't know why, she didn't care. For one night he had been hers and hers alone. She rolled over on her side hugging the blankets to her naked chest. Her eyes popped open. Naked?

Sure enough, Kaoru sat up and indeed she was nude. That meant she had not dreamed of her encounter with the redhead. She touched her swollen lips, memories of his ardent kisses replaying in her head. How had it happened? He said he had made a choice. Obviously he had decided not to fight his attraction anymore. Kenshin had asked if she would have him and she had agreed, inadvertently proclaiming her love. What had then ensued made her blush. The things the redhead had made her feel, the things he had done. She didn't even know it was possible to feel such bliss. No wonder sex was deemed sinful.

Gnawing on her lip she glanced over and saw she was alone in her room. Pale light filtered into the room and she felt slightly disheartened to notice it was not sunny outside. There was no sound of rain, but that didn't really mean anything. For some reason a feeling of dread touched her and she brushed it away.

Quickly she dressed, not bothering to put her hair up. She enjoyed it loose and she remembered the way Kenshin couldn't seem to stop running his fingers through it. Maybe it would inspire another romp like last night, she thought giggling. Mentally she slapped herself for such a dirty thought and left her room. She hurried to the kitchen, just now realizing there was no smell on the air. She entered the room, a greeting on her lips and froze. No one was inside, nothing being prepared on the stovetop. She frowned. Where was he?

Turning, she headed towards the dojo. Sometimes he would venture there, having a need to utilize his excess energy. After the previous night, she couldn't see what the need would be for; she certainly felt drained. She slid the door open, another greeting as well as a reprimand for not having breakfast ready on her tongue. However, the large room was empty. A sliver of panic touched her.

Surely he had just decided to get ahead start on the day's laundry. He had done it not two days ago, and her linens were still strewn about her room. His had been untouched and Yahiko had slept elsewhere. Therefore, there wasn't the need to wash, but Kenshin could be strange about things such as that. She knew it had to o with him and his feeling of having unclean hands. But the man was no where in sight when she rounded the corner. A forgotten towel blew limply in the damp wind. There was no sign of the rurouni. Now anxiety stole over her completely, her heart beating rapidly. She thought over the previous night.

Kaoru recalled accusing of him of deciding to leave. He had said he wasn't, that he would take her with him if he wanted to wander. She trusted him and hurried to his room. Maybe he had not wanted to disturb her own slumber. Desperation was beginning to claim her mind and she continued to think over everything that might have been said or unsaid that would prompt the man to disappear.

His room was empty as well. The futon rested by the wall, undisturbed. She failed to notice it hadn't been wrapped up and placed to the side. He hadn't even bothered to take what few belongings he did have. Panic was evident, her breath coming in short gasps. Then it hit her. He had not once said he loved her. Needed, yes. Wanted, yes. Never had the man uttered the word love.

"How could I have been so stupid?" She whispered hoarsely to herself, tears filling her eyes. She had practically begged for at least one moment with him and he had given it to her. Now he was gone, wandering who knew where.

"Kenshin!!" She wailed. Her legs gave out from under her as her sob echoed throughout the room. No longer able to keep it inside, she allowed her pain to flow from her, tears streaming down her cheeks. Kaoru never heard the footsteps come up behind her.

*********

I hope I have pleased everyone. I wanted it to be tasteful and at the same time leave one needing a moment to breath. Kenshin is so hard to write for sometimes. There is so much that I can't fully justify and so I decided to go with a conglomerate of both Kenshin and Kaoru's perspective on the whole. I just hope it satiates any temporary cravings for the moment.

This isn't the end just yet. I know everyone out there is probably cursing me at the moment and I'm sorry! I just hope everyone enjoyed it. ^_~


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sorry this is so late in coming. I have been busy with work. I know that's no excuse, but here is the end! Forgive me please. **Also there is some mature content below.** I've been burned once and so considered yourself fairly warned. Do not continue if you are underage. I hope you enjoy.

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Something was wrong. Kenshin paused, his thoughts searching through horrible scenarios of what could have happened while he had been gone. He had awoken and watched the woman at his side sleep. Kaoru was breathtaking in her slumber, her chest rising and falling in her dreams, a slight smile on her full lips. He had wanted nothing more than to kiss her awake and reconvene their activities from the night. But she had to be drained, having extricated an extreme amount of energy, both physical as well as emotional. At some point, he had risen to fix breakfast. After the night the two had shared and the idea of beginning a new life with her, he had decided to go to town for some fish for the meal. He had not been gone long, and yet something was way off.

He placed his purchases on the low table in the dinning area and quickly headed towards her room. It was empty, the messy bedding still on the floor. He couldn't help but smile to himself. Hopefully Yahiko wouldn't return until later in the afternoon. He would make use of the futon before then if he had his way. But where was Kaoru? A sound reached his ears and he turned swiftly, his stride quick and sure as he rounded the corner towards his own room.

The door was open. Cautiously he approached it, his hand on his sakabatou. He could detect no hostile presence, yet there was someone inside. He peered around the doorframe and stopped. In the center of the room, Kaoru was on her knees, her arms wrapped around her leg, her shoulders shaking violently. Quickly he hurried to her and touched a hand to her shoulder.

"Kaoru-dono?" Her body stilled. Her head lifted up slightly. "Kaoru-dono, what happened?"

"Are you really here?" She whispered hoarsely.

He frowned and knelt down behind her. He placed a hand on her back, noticing she had not put her hair up this day. "Hai. I went to the market, that I did."

"Market?" She turned to look at him and his heart broke when he saw her. Her cheeks were deathly white, contrasted by her red rimmed eyes. Her luminous eyes shined with grief. Tears stained her face, the neckline of her kimono wet.

"For your breakfast." He could see no reason for her distress unless… … … "Did something happen to Yahiko?"

She shook her head, her hand timidly touching his cheek. "No."

"I don't understand, that I don't. What happened Kaoru-dono?"

She cupped his face in her hands. "You're here. You're really here." She whispered.

And then it hit him. He recalled what Sanosuke had told him just the previous afternoon and her initial claim when he had bungled his first attempt at conveying his desire last night.

"You thought I had left." He mused aloud.

Through a haze he saw her nod. He touched a strand of her loose hair. "I woke up and you were gone. There was nothing cooking and no sign you were here. I thought I was finally living one of my nightmares." She croaked.

That admission widened his eyes. To hear from her lips, she feared him leaving was so much more profound than hearing Sanosuke tell him. "Why would you think I would leave after everything we went through last night?" He asked her softly. "I told you I wasn't."

Her lips trembled again. "I know. But you never…. I mean…you haven't… …. "

"Shhh." He pulled her to him and she willingly came into his arms. He stroked her hair, trying to soothe her fears. She pressed her lips to his neck, breathing in deeply. He pulled back and kissed her cheeks, the salt tangy on his mouth as he tried to alleviate her worries. His movements became more harried and she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to her. Suddenly he needed her, in a way he had never needed anyone before.

Kenshin's knees hit the floor and he pulled her up alongside him, his hands lost in the depths of her hair, their lips connected in a passionate kiss. The woman's fingers stole to the knot at his waist, trying desperately to undo it. Likewise, he undid the obi sloppily tied at her back. Then his hands were on her flesh and he picked her up to place her on the futon, her hands shoving at the gi on his shoulders.

They lay on his bedding, laid out from the night before, a mass of entwined limbs. Her hands were on his chest, caressing his scarred body and he moaned when she brushed over one of his nipples. Where last night had been an issue of want and desire, today was more of a matter of need. A need to know last night had been real, that it hadn't been a one-time thing, that he had not been the one dreaming. As much as Kaoru needed to know he would not leave her, he needed to know she belonged to him.

The woman squirmed underneath him, her mouth hot and insistent, her tongue wild and demanding. He slid one hand down her body and between her legs. Part of him was surprised to discover she was already moist and ready. Without wasting another moment, he slid one finger inside her hot folds, urging her along a bit more. She arched beautifully beneath him, her mouth open with a loud cry.

"Can't wait!" She panted. He agreed with that and quickly removed his pants. Then he was on her, her legs wrapping around his waist. He slid into her so easily and both groaned at the pure enchantment of being with one another. He began to move, hardly believing how absolutely he fit within her. Her curves fit him naturally and he couldn't help but wonder why he had denied himself for so long.

They came together, his name on her lips, her cry reverberating the still morning. Then he cradled her against him. Not wanting to let her go, knowing that he just might have a whole lifetime in which to cherish her. No longer had he heard a voice clamoring for acquiescence. He smiled, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck, the hitokiri and the rurouni truly well at peace with each other.

Kaoru sighed contentedly and snuggled against him. "I'm sorry." She murmured.

"For what?"

She glanced over her shoulder at him. "For thinking you would abandon me. I just…" She blushed and looked away, resting her head on his arm.

"What is it, Kaoru-dono?"

"I didn't have nightmares last night and I hoped they would finally be over. Then when I couldn't find you. … It was like I was reliving them in reality and this time I didn't have the advantage of waking up to find you really were still here."

He squeezed her a bit tighter. "Is that all you dream? Me leaving?" He asked, hating himself for ever giving her doubt.

"Mostly. Or you don't come when Gohei comes for me, or Ji'neh." Her voice hitched slightly and he rolled her over so he could look at her. Her blue eyes were rimmed with tears, her cheeks slightly flushed.

Kenshin brushed a dark strand from her forehead. "I will always protect you and come for you, that I will. I promise you that."

She nodded. "I know. That's why I love you so much." She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"When did you know?"

"Know?"

Suddenly he felt embarrassed. He felt a blush creep up his neck and he looked away from her. "When did you know that you loved me?"

Kaoru giggled. "Do you doubt my love for you?"

"No. I'm just curious when it began. Sanosuke mentioned how you had been…. how you loved me for a long time and I was curious just how long."

"So the great Himura Kenshin finally has met an inquiry he could not answer."

"I am not so great."

She touched his cheek and he glanced at her, his amethyst eyes meeting her cobalt ones. "To me you are."

He felt a tear against his lids and he leaned down to kiss her tenderly, trying to convey everything he felt for her in the simple kiss. "I've always loved you, I think." She told him when he pulled back. "But I think it was the moment you first came back to me and practically disparaged my family style of fighting that I first began to know it."

"Oro?"

"Gohei and his gang had returned. I thought it was over. Here I was alone in this world. The only person who had really tried to be nice to me had left in the middle of the night never to return, not that I blamed him for the way I treated him."

"You weren't so bad." He whispered.

She flashed a hint of a smile before continuing. "He had me by the scruff of my neck and I didn't know what he was going to do. Kill me or have his way with me or both. And then the door slid open and you were standing there. But it wasn't so much that you had come back for me that struck me. Gohei accused you of being weak and demanded if you believed the same nonsense that I did. You said no, that the sword was a weapon and meant to kill and anyone who actually believed that it was meant to protect was living in a dream world talking nonsense."

Kenshin colored. Had he really said that? Her smiled deepened when she saw him blush. "But then you claimed that while my beliefs were silly, you hoped one day they would become the truth."

"I will always come for you and I still hope that your silly talk will become reality." He kissed her nose and she giggled. He leaned back and thought for a moment. "I guess it was quite literal and figurative for me, though I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment I knew I loved you."

"What?"

He glanced at her. "It was when we first met. I was struck by your tenacity to actually approach me and take me on with a wooden sword that I didn't pay attention to what I was doing when I leapt out of the way. I was so enamored by your beauty that I miss-stepped and landed on the weak eve of the roof, falling to the ground. So it was literally then than I began to fall for you." He tweaked her nose, hoping to get another giggle from her.

Instead Kaoru sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest. He watched her with interest. Why was she acting so strangely to him telling her his heart; she had confessed the moment her feelings had begun to develop. Then it struck him.

Kenshin slapped himself on the face. No wonder she had panicked to find him gone this morning. No wonder she had assumed the worst despite the fact he had told he wouldn't leave her alone. Not once had he actually told her how he felt. She knew of his desire, and deep down probably knew he loved her. But nothing brought the reality home like actually hearing the words. Hadn't he thought that last night when she had finally declared her feeling towards him?

"Kaoru-dono," He touched her bare shoulder. "I did this badly, that I did. But there's something I have to tell you."

She looked at him, something unfathomable in her azure eyes. "Nanda?"

He opened his mouth to speak and found he couldn't find the words to convey to her what he was feeling. "Before, when Tomoe ….died, I wandered looking for my death. For some reason though, death just wouldn't come. I assumed it was fate's way of punishing me, making me live with my grief for what I had done. Then ten years later I was walking through the back streets of Tokyo and a young beautiful woman approached me. That day on the street, something happened. I stopped waiting for death and began to live again. All because of you. I still don't think I am worthy of your love, but for whatever reason, you love me and I will take it and cherish forever. I love you and I will spend the rest of my life proving my worth to you, if you'll let me."

Her blue orbs grew wide, her breathing stopped. "What are you saying?" She asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

His heart fluttered madly and his anxiety mounted. Never had he been this nervous, not when fighting a worthy, not with the idea of facing Shishio, not even with Tomoe. "I guess, I'm saying I love you, that I am. I know it's not the right day, but maybe it never will be. And if you'll have me, I would be deeply honored and grateful if you'll be my wife."

Her lips parted, her breath having grown short and shallow. "How long have I waited for this moment?" She breathed, not quite sure how to react.

"Is that a yes?"

"Hai."

***************

Megumi sighed as she watched the happy couple. They had exchanged vows not even an hour earlier and their friends surrounded them. Misao and company had made it up from Kyoto for the wedding. Aoshi even smiled at one point. She sighed, feeling a touch of envy for her friends. The tanuki finally got what she wanted.

Kaoru looked radiant in the pale blue kimono. She had not wanted the formal wear and the blue illuminated her large azure eyes. Her dark hair was tied back in the front, the length falling down her back in waves. Her pale skin glowed with her happiness and her eyes radiated her love for the man at her side. She indeed was more beautiful than herself she admitted in this moment. True love could do that to a person.

For his part, Kenshin didn't look too shabby either. He couldn't seem to stop looking at his blushing bride. His own affection for the woman at his side was evident. Never had Megumi seen the redhead so open with his emotions. Only four weeks before they had been estranged, the tension between them so thick; Megumi was still surprised it had taken so long for them to succumb. It gave her hope as her dark eyes spotted another figure amongst the throng of people. She frowned when she saw him animatedly talking with Misao.

The petite girl had grown up quite a bit since she last saw her. The only fact she still was obviously pining after the stoic swordsman made Megumi's jealousy stay to a minimum. She did not want to admit Sanosuke had looked good enough to eat this day.

The tall man had been ignorant to any innuendos she had dropped the last few days. She had been around constantly, helping Kaoru with the wedding. Sano practically lived there so she had seen quite a bit of him over the past days as well. More than once she had let him know she enjoyed his company and yet he would either get up and walk away, or make some random comment about the weather. Or maybe he knew more than he let on. Hadn't Kenshin told her he had helped him to come to terms with his own emotions?

"And how is the kitsune faring?" The man occupying her thoughts sat down next to her.

Megumi blushed and turned her face away so he wouldn't see it. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you do. You've been looking sick with your jealousy all morning. Distressed now that Kenshin is finally taken?"

She glanced at him sideways, surprised at the bitterness she heard in his voice. "Not at all. I'm happy for Kenshin and Kaoru. It's about time the two got together."

"Really?" He asked her speculatively.

"Yes. I don't know what you think you've been seeing, but I am not jealous of them. Why do you think I have draped myself over Kenshin for so long? It was the closest Kaoru would come to expressing her true feelings for the man."

"So there is not interest whatsoever in the rurouni?"

"No!"

The man sat back and rubbed a hand over his stubble. She watched him, curious to how that would feel against her palm, against her neck. She sighed, wondering just what it might be like to have the tori-atama in her bed.

Sanosuke caught her staring. "So why have you been eyeing daggers all day?"

Her shoulder sagged. "Because they have known something, experienced something, I might never know."

"You don't know that."

"Don't I?"

He shook his head. "Kitsune, you are an intelligent and beautiful woman. There are men who would die to be next to you. Don't tell me you won't experience happiness, because it will happen. Someday, some man will come and sweep you off your feet. Then where will the rest of us be?"

Her brown eyes widened. "Where did that come from?"

"Just saying you shouldn't be over here moping is all." He told her defensively. He crossed his arms and watched the blissful couple.

Megumi watched them as well and another thought came to her. She glanced once more at the brunette at her side. "What did you say to the tanuki that day?"

"What day is that?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You know what day I'm talking about."

"No I don't."

She sighed in exasperation and stood up. "Whatever. I'm going to congratulate the happy couple."

A hand on her arm stopped her and she glanced once more at Sano. There was something unreadable in his dark eyes. "Why do you want to know?"

"Just curious what you might have said to get a woman to blush so."

Sanosuke studied her another moment and smiled slyly. "I merely said something so Kenshin would think there was something going on between the two of us."

"And was there?" She demanded.

"Was there what?"

"Something going on?"

"Why would you think that?" He asked, smirking ever so slightly.

Megumi bit her lip, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of getting under her skin.

"And what are you two doing over here?"

They looked up at Kaoru who was watching them with interest. "Nothing." Sanosuke answered hurriedly. He hugged her to him and pulled back, holding her at arms' length. "Have I told you how radiant you look today?"

She colored slightly. "Yes, but it never hurts to hear it again."

"You look absolutely dazzling today, Jou-chan."

"Arigatou." Her blush deepened and Megumi gritted her teeth at the attention he was bestowing on the bride.

"I was beginning to wonder if this day would come. I was thinking I just might have to make a play for you myself."

Megumi elbowed him at that comment, unable to fully contain her anger. He really was a dolt and she wondered why she let it bother her so much.

"That is my wife you are talking to, that she is." Kenshin came up and placed an arm around Kaoru's waist. She glanced at him and Megumi felt a shot of envy to witness their happiness. But if any two people deserved it, it was they.

"Can you blame me, Kenshin? She is quite a catch."

The eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "And you were the one who helped me to realize what a fool I would be to let her go, that you were."

Sanosuke grinned sheepishly and scratched his head. "I just made you stop acting like a obdurate fool."

Now the redhead blushed and Kaoru giggled, snuggling into his side. "Lucky for me you did." She said, smiling up at her new husband.

Kenshin smiled back at her. "I'm the one who is lucky. You never once gave up on me."

The kissed briefly and Megumi felt something akin to sadness touch her. Would anyone ever look at her that way? Another hand touched her and again she looked up to see Sano watching her. "What?"

He shook his head and caught Kaoru's eye. She put a hand to her mouth and giggled. What had that been about? Kenshin caught the exchange and hooked her arm. "I think we should mingle with the others." He teased.

She beamed up at him. "As long as I'm by you, I don't care what we do." She told him, allowing him to guide her away. Left standing alone with Sanosuke she glanced at him once more. His comments made her wonder. She wasn't always around, working at the clinic. "Was there something going on between you and the tanuki at some point?" She demanded, her voice belying her slight aggravation.

He shrugged. "Why does it matter? She's married to Kenshin now."

Her lips pressed together in a thin line and Megumi crossed her arms and started to walk away. "Wait." She paused, but didn't look at him. "Why are you really upset?"

Megumi looked at him. "I'm not upset." She told him hotly.

He sighed. "Nothing ever went on between Jou-chan and me. I couldn't explain the relationship we have, but it's nothing……" He colored slightly. "It's nothing sexual."

"And why should I believe that?"

"You and I both know that she has been in love with Kenshin since the day he arrived at the dojo." He snorted. "That day when Kenshin got all strange and they finally gave into their cravings, I whispered something to Kaoru to make her blush to upset you, not Kenshin."

She stared at him incredulously. "Why on earth would you do that?"

Nervously, Sanosuke ran a hand through his dark hair. "I've been trying to figure out a way to approach you for months now. I can't figure you out and I guess I'm suffering from Kenshin-syndrome as well."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means I don't think I'm worthy of being with you."

His words shocked her and Megumi was left speechless. "Why would you want to be?" She whispered, not daring to believe what she had just heard.

Crossing his arms in defiance he turned his back on her. "Come on, kitsune. You're intelligent. I imagine you can figure it out."

Gnawing on her lip, Megumi contemplated his words. He had to be saying what she thought he was. "You want to be with me?" He didn't say anything. "What did you say to Kaoru that day?" She asked again. For some reason, she had to know. What could have made the woman brush so deeply?

He colored now and rubbed the back of his neck. "It had to do with you."

"Well?"

He looked her in the eyes. "I told her that it was merely a matter of time before I had you naked, your clothes on the floor and you were writhing in my bed." He told her flatly.

A devious grin crossed her face and she tossed her dark hair over her shoulder. "Want to get out of here and see if you can accomplish that?"

*******************

And there it is. At this time I have no plans to write a sequel concerning Sanosuke and Megumi. Or Misao and Aoshi. If someone wants to, then by all means go for it. I hope you enjoyed this story. I have to admit I'm a bit proud of it myself. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my story. Until next time!


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